Growing up, I never really knew “how” babies were created. I mean what kid really does? I did know where they came from, their mama’s belly! All kids know that, right?! I don’t believe it was until the onset of puberty and my first health class in grade school (which mortified me when I first took it), that I became familiar with HOW babies were created (you know what I’m saying)! I was sort of naive, today’s kids will never understand my naivety because they are so advanced!
It was because of that experience and the way the world is, that I had purposed in my mind when I had children if they asked I would be honest and tell them the TRUTH of the matter. How babies are created! Judge me all you want, I would rather tell my kids the TRUTH of the matter, than to have someone SHOW them how babies are created before their time. I don’t know about you but won’t nobody be showing my babies anything! Especially without them knowing what the truth is beforehand. I’m just saying!!
So, I had made up in my mind that when/if my kids ever asked me “how” babies were made, I would straight up tell them. Prior to becoming a mother, I imagined the conversation would go something like this:
Child(ren): “Mommy, how are babies created?”
Me: Gulp! “Well honey, babies are made and created with love.”
However, the way I thought I would tell my children didn’t go as planned. God had other plans! He wanted me to tell the real truth about how, only because I had also made a promise that I wouldn’t sugarcoat anything to my children either, because I didn’t want them growing up gullible and easily manipulated. You see, I wanted some strong-willed, determined, informed, educated babies, because too much goes on out here in the world. So, when God blessed me to have my first child, and years later she asked “how” babies were created I told her the REAL TRUTH!
Kenya (age 6): “Mommy, how are babies made and why do the stay in their mommy’s bellies?”
Me: “Sweet Pea babies are created with love, between two people who are married and who love each other.”
Kenya: “But HOW mommy, because I love you and you love me, and we don’t have a baby.”
Me: Good Gracious (in my head)! “Well Kenya, babies are made by two people who are married, they love each other, and they make love and God blesses them with a baby!”
Yup!!! I told her the truth and always will. Fast forward to when Kenya is 9 and I had just found I was expecting! I am standing in the kitchen preparing dinner and processing how I am going to tell my 9-year-old she is going to be a big sister. You may say just tell her, but I couldn’t just tell her. The reason I couldn’t just tell her was because it went against what I told her about “how” babies are created/made; I am expecting, but I’m not married (remember I told her babies were created between married folks)?! Yeah, I thought you did! I had to figure out how to tell her and be prepared for whatever questions she had and answer them TRUTHFULLY! I gathered up the nerve and I told her (I was almost 3 months before I told her).
Me (embarrassed): “Kenya, mommy has something she wants to tell you. You are going to be a big sister!”
Kenya (beyond excited): “I am?!?!” “Yes! Yes! Yessssss!”
Me: “You’re not upset that you are no longer going to be the only child?”
Kenya: “Nope, I prayed to God for a sister every night last year, so I hope it’s a girl!” (she then gives me a huge bear hug!)
Kenya (20 minutes later, AFTER processing the good news and remembering what I told her years ago about babies and HOW they are made): “BUT WAIT MOMMY, WHO’S THE FATHER? Because you’re not married, and you told me babies come from married people who make love!”
Me (dead): “Mr. Jeffrey is the father Kenya.”
Kenya: “But how? You guys aren’t married. So, you don’t and shouldn’t make love!”
Me (even more dead, with my tail between my legs): “I’m sorry Kenya, mommy didn’t honor what she told you about how babies are made. Please forgive me for being a hypocrite and going against what I have always told you about how they are made, by not being married and making love.”
Kenya: “So you have been making love?! Oh mommy, it’s ok, I forgive you! God does too mommy, babies are blessings!”
You see, I don’t have an average 10-year-old. She is wise beyond her years and very caring and aware! Therefore, I was not surprised when she took her first health class this school year, and she wasn’t mortified nor embarrassed, because Mama taught her well! And still does!
Being a single mother, I wanted her to know and to be aware, because I never wanted the world to take advantage of her. I never wanted there to be a moment, where Kenya looked back and said she didn’t know or wasn’t aware because I failed to inform her. Life is real and the world is cold! So therefore, I give her the truth, straight, no chaser!!
Just when we think our children aren’t paying attention to us or they aren’t listening, the truth is they are listening and seeing everything we do, more than we realize. So be mindful! I encourage you as parents to be honest with your children. If you won’t, someone else will and it just might be too late. Kids respect honesty and truth far more than they do the fallacies we offer up and serve them! After all, it is via their parents that they first learn to trust or mistrust people. I don’t know about you but I don’t want no stranger teaching my girls anything that I should have taught them first!
Forgiven by Kenya,
Glennda *Girl Mom *