Yesterday, I was sitting reflecting on motherhood and I came to the realization that I needed to let go of how I thought it would be. Now hear me out, because this is not a complaint at all about motherhood. But more about us letting go of the unrealistic views or expectations that we sometimes have about motherhood and how it will affect life.
Growing up I thought that being a mother meant my life was over. Boy was I wrong, my life in fact was just beginning, with motherhood. It is through my kids that I began to live again. There was a point in time that I would just go through the motions of life and then Kenya came along and showed me not to go through the motions but to ENJOY life to the fullest.
I remember when she was about three or four years old, we went to see my brother who lived in Georgia at the time. The night before, we loaded up the car with our bags and waited for my mother to arrive. We then went to pick up my niece and her mother and began traveling to Georgia, singing the whole way down. Kenya was beyond excited because she was going on yet another road trip (she had been traveling since she was an infant), which she loved and still loves to do.
When we arrived at my brother’s house, that night, she was so excited. You see she hadn’t seen her Uncle “Paulie” (Bryan) as she affectionately calls him, her Aunt Miya or her cousin Maliya in so long, so this trip was LIFE to her, even at such a young age. We all knew we were having a sleepover there but what none of us knew was that it was a PARTY! There wasn’t really a party happening at all, but to Kenya there was because there was so many of us together and we were all excited and LOUD (that’s the nature of my family when we get together).
We had been at my brother’s house maybe an hour or so and Kenya says to me and my sister with such excitement “Guys, I’m excited about this party we are having here!” Me and my sister looked at each other puzzled and said, “What party?” It wasn’t until the next day I really realized what Kenya was saying. She was excited that we were all together at one time under one roof, having a grand time, with no ism or schism, laughing and joking. Which is what children do at parties, have fun! That statement has now become an inside joke between my sister and I, when we are excited or about to have fun, we say “I’m excited about this party we are having here!”
To this very day Kenya sees good times as parties. Her view point on life made me change how I thought motherhood would or should be. Kenya lives for our “girls” days, which we have a lot of. She LOVES sushi, getting her feet done, and just having a good time. What kid do you know currently, who still desires to go outside and enjoys it? Not many, but Kenya does. Even with having a lot of electronics, she spends an insane amount of time outside. Sometimes I find myself having to drag her in because the sun has gone down or it’s hot.
I said all that to say this “Let go of how you thought life would be with children and enjoy how it is”! for in a twinkling of an eye our babies won’t be babies or tiny humans anymore, they will be all grown up! Live your life through your child’s eyes as much as possible. So that when you are older, and they are grown you won’t look back on life and have too many regrets.
I don’t want to become an adult, lol as if I’m not one now, with too many regrets. I don’t want to look back and say “I wished I hadn’t yelled at them so much because now they won’t talk to me” or “I wished I had of danced with them when they asked me too because now they think I’m uptight” etc. I am learning to live life through my daughter’s eyes as much as possible.
I have learned that I can be a mother and a friend to my child at the same time. Someday she will become an adult and reflect on life and I want her to know her mother loves and cherishes her and will always be there for her.
Life of the Party!
♥ Glennda ♥