Today I realized that there are no perfect moms, just REAL moms. Sorry Sis didn’t mean to burst your bubble. The realization of this came about from a letter Kenya wrote to me. She had gotten in trouble for lying to me as well as meddling in things she had no business.
One day I came into the house and Kenya had , my flour canister, lid off, under running water, with flour in it. I couldn’t figure out what she was doing with it as we had just come from the supermarket and I didn’t purchase flour so why did she have it out?? Beats me! At this point I asked her why she had my canister out and she proceeded to tell me because she was filling it up. My mom “Spidey” senses went off and said that’s not the truth, she isn’t telling me something.
So being the observant mom that I am (most of the times) I did a quick scan of the kitchen and noticed an empty bowl on the counter and her cellphone next to the bowl, on the screen was a paused YouTube video. AHA! That’s why she had my flour canister at the sink, she was about to make a concoction of some sort and didn’t think she would get caught.
So, I asked her again why she had it out and she tells me she was doing a good deed for the house, so she decided to fill it up. Mind you this is a kid whose room looks like a PIGS PEN, THAT is the good deed she should be doing for the house, making sure to clean her room! Not only did I peep the YouTube video, but my mind went back to two days prior when she asked if she could make something and I told her NO! Kenya makes concoctions that has the potential to ruin the house and something always needs to be replaced! For example, she is barred from making slime because she ruined all four of my dining room chairs. She reminds me a lot of my sister Miya, when she was a kid, she was JUST LIKE KENYA!
So, she was frustrated with me about that! The next thing that prompted her letter writing was the fact I YELLED (yes, I did) at her about her room. I had asked nicely a few times and the last time I was DONE! I wanted it CLEAN IMMEDIATELY or she would lose all electronics and her outdoor privileges would be revoked as well. The last time I threatened her with this that room was SPOTLESS, one could eat off the floor (not really, especially when her guinea pig runs around in there) but you get my point! Everything was in its proper place. So, she cleaned her room (the way she wanted to and not how I know she was capable of) and slides this note under my door which said (this is written just how she wrote it, mind you she’s 10 but girlfriend has sense):
I feel underappreciated because I tried to put flour in the can and you yelled at me. I clean my room the best I can and you still don’t think it’s clean. I feel left out in certain situations. You always play with Kennedi, but you don’t hang out with me like you used to. I just want the same love you give Kennedi for me!
Instead of getting upset with her for writing the letter, I placed myself in her shoes. To her it would look like she was underappreciated or that I don’t give her the same love I give Kennedi, or I don’t play with her like I do Kennedi. Truth is I don’t play with her like I do Kennedi because they are different ages.
I could have yelled and acted a fool, but it was at that point that I realized I am not perfect, don’t profess to be and never will be, but guess what I am REAL! And this REAL Mama wants you to clean that room and clean it like I know you can. I can recall a time I would’ve gotten down in the dumps because I wasn’t making my kid happy but uh uh honey, NOT TODAY! WHY? Because I am the MOM! I am not perfect! I am real and being real means I won’t always make you happy. Heck! I may never make you happy. Then again as your mother making you happy is not my job, that’s your job to be happy! But you will be clean!
I am real enough to know that at times she will feel like I am being hard on her or she may feel she isn’t appreciated, or that I don’t love her like I do her sister. I am also real enough to know that I must explain to her the things she doesn’t understand. Truth is I appreciate her more than she knows. I appreciate everything she does…from feeding Kennedi so I can shower, to playing with her in the morning while I get ready for work, to always wanting to be my sous chef for our Two Girls Cooking show (it’s a made up show we have, but we really do cook). Truth is, I can do better at showing her how much I appreciate her and that I will never really be able to show her how much I really do love her. If only she could see inside my heart, to see and know just how much I love her.
I Love You Kenya,
♥ Mom ♥