Some few weeks ago, I was approached by someone and they asked me “ what gives you the right to sit in that seat.?” You see I was a bit confused by this question because I have an a** that you sit on and well it’s fitting for the seat I was sitting in. SO, THAT gives me the right! However, that wasn’t the reason they were asking. So with a confused look I stared at him waiting for him to say just kidding…..instead he asked again. He then proceeded to ask about my credentials, so I ran them down to him ( not that I had to, but I knew at that point where he was going with the question): I have been in banking for the last 18 years, I have earned THREE degrees (A.A.S, B.S in Finance and a M.B.A), I was selected over one of your colleagues to sit in this seat and manage this branch, and I simply just deserved to be seated here. So why do you ask? He stated that he asked because I was a woman, not only a woman, but a BLACK WOMAN! I was sad for him because mentally he is stuck somewhere that no amount of help could save or rescue him from.
That experience and the recent Serena Williams incident prompted me to write this blog today! It’s HARD and EASY at the same time being a black woman. Hard because daily we feel the pressure to constantly guard or defend ourselves. Can’t we just live?! Apparently not! It’s like we have to prove ourselves constantly! As black women we always find ourselves having to stand tall for ourselves, be it in the workplace, at home, via the media, or just simply being out in public.
For decades now we have been labeled as being: Black and angry. For crying out loud, can’t we just simply be FED ALL THE WAY UP? Fed up with the negative treatment from society, other races, our own race (our black men and women), the negative connotations that the media place on us as women but not on other races of women, etc. I know for one I am FED UP! And on that day when I was asked that question I stood tall for myself. Taller than I ever have because I’m tired of us not being able to obtain certain positions because of our skin color, our hair, our ability to fight back and no longer take crap, etc.
We can’t even hold certain positions without people constantly trying to discredit us or make us prove something that half of America doesn’t even posses. People constantly get mad because you advocate for yourself and they then label you as angry and aggressive. Angry? Aggressive? Defensive? No ma’am, no ham, no Pam, you have it all wrong. I’m neither angry, aggressive, nor defensive! I am simply COMMANDING and DEMANDING the same respect you give your own kind!
When a woman is emotional she is labeled as hysterical and she’s penalized for it. But when a man is emotional he’s labeled as outspoken. Confusing eh? Double standard? Yup! Pretty much!
So the next time anyone fixes their mouth to even try and label me as an angry black woman, I will simply tell them what a privilege it is to be both black and a woman! I will continue to push to be heard and respected. I mean after all we are the most imitated and feared (because of our power) race of women out here. #BigFacts
Our characteristics are always scrutinized and under attack for trivial and minute things. We are attacked because we are powerful and we can’t be stopped. We are resilient! Educated! Deserving! So I am demanding that you know our worth and SAY OUR NAMES!
I am tired of babysitting people’s egos because they feel bad for losing to us at times. Go for what you want! For those of you who downplay your spotlight for others to shine….STOP THAT! Don’t be something you are not! PUSH THROUGH and be you in all of your authenticity! We are game changers!
If you’re not a woman…please don’t tell me how to be one! If you’re not a BLACK WOMAN, again please don’t tell me how to be one! Did you know we are one of the lowest paid race and gender in this mess of a country we call America? TUH! Women of color earn 63 cents for every dollar earned by a male of the Caucasian race. And people have the audacity to get mad and make us feel undeserving when we demand respect and fight for certain rights.
So again don’t label me as angry for demanding the same rights as others! You’re going to get this BlackGirlMagic, whether you want it or not! So say my name and put some respect on it!
Yes, I’m black and female. But I’m not Angry, just fed up!
👑 Glennda 👑