Tonight while watching an episode of The Book of John Gray, he said something profound; he said “The world is in an identity crisis!”
After hearing that, I had the thought that at the core of it of all the hurt, pain, guilt, turmoil, abuse, etc. that one has experienced. There was a time that I almost drove myself mad with thoughts that I had. Thoughts of not being good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, worthy enough, enough (that part). I would ask myself questions such as “how does the world see me? Am I a good mother? What would/does such and such think of me? Etc.”
Then one day I woke up and I said “no matter how hard it gets, I am ENOUGH and I most certainly will no longer give a d**n what anyone thinks of me!” This was and is by far the hardest thing I had to do because it required(s) me to reprogram and recondition my thoughts, but most of all it required me to STOP judging myself in a negative way! It also requires me to not give a complete d**n about anything but how I feel, view, love, and accept ME! Self-acceptance!
“In each moment you’re either practicing self-acceptance or you’re judging yourself!” ~Linda Arnold~
As a mother I was constantly judging if I was parenting my children properly, do I love them enough, all because I was looking at how others were doing it. As a woman I was constantly belittling myself based off of what both the male and female race had said about me. Thinking less than thoughts of myself based off of what someone I loved and love had/has said about me as woman. Everyday a million thoughts of less than ran through my mind all the while I am smiling, taking pictures, posting selfies, pretending. Pretending to be whole, healthy, happy, all while exuding some version of me that “looked” like I loved myself; knowing darn well I didn’t! Is this you? Do you do this to yourself?
Then one day I looked at myself in the mirror (not that long ago to be honest) and said who cares what you did in your past, what others think of you or how you parent, what society says a woman should be shaped like, etc. LOVE YOURSELF! Because nobody else will, at least not in the way in which you would want them too. See a person or people can only love you on their level of how or what they perceive or understand love to be. So the question you must ask yourself is “is this love enough for me and do I love myself enough to know that I am what I say I am and only what I say I am?” For what you tell yourself matters most, and not those cliche thoughts you say while looking in the mirror, but those still, small thoughts of you that you think about you a million times a day.
I encourage you to take the filters off, post a transparent selfie of yourself bare faced and caption it with what you are feeling in that exact moment and live life unfiltered! Live life based off how you feel and take no thought for what others say or think about you, for only what you tell your inner self matters most! You are a great mother, wife, friend, sister, aunt, woman, etc. You are ENOUGH and you MATTER!
Do you know how debilitating it is to consume yourself with thoughts of what other see, think, or feel about you? It cripples you. It suffocates all the greatness buried inside of you and trust me, you and your babies need all of that greatness to shine through. For years I struggled with this, but when I look at my babies, who need me, depend on me and love me unconditionally, I push myself daily to overcome…….and it is there that I meet and fall in love with the next and newest version of myself!
Your story matters because you matter! You are enough! I dare you to become Self-sufficient! Unveil yourself!