Can I have this moment for life…HELL YES! It didn’t matter if you told me no, I was still going to go for it! Love is a powerful thing, but when you take two black people who are willing and committed to make it work no matter the cost, whew child! That’s some dope, black couple magic right there!
Yes all love is great, but I’m black and so is my man……….so I’m bragging on our type of love and our commitment…..namely my love, with my BLACK MAN! Come on here GOD! PERFECT. NO! Working for us? HELLLLLL YEAH! And I don’t give two flying birds what you, you, or you think about it either! PERIODT (with the T because I mean business)!
I’m his Black Bonnie/QUEEN and he is my BLACK KING!
Relationships require you sacrificing of yourself! It’s not all about you! People assume that relationships are bliss, not so! Then you have the opposite side of the coin where folks think that relationships are about being tolerated! Again, NOT SO! Relationships are what you make of them! It all starts with communication!
I have never met a man more willing to sacrifice himself (not his dignity) but sacrifice of himself so that his family is taken care of and provided for FIRST! That’s what providers do…..being a provider also means that he KNOWS what I or the kids need, even when we don’t! Providing isn’t just financially. It’s also emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically! We as women are emotional beings (not all sappy but our emotions are everything to us)….so when he gives me a gentle hug, without me asking for it, he doesn’t know it but he could have just eased my mind of the worrying, the wondering, or simply just made me feel secure and reassured that he loves me….with a simple hug! A simple forehead kiss can move mountains and do a world of good, as well!
Now ladies, we have to remember they are human too and need reciprocity!
I will admit that love is HARD! But, if you’re committed and dedicated it’s doable! My love is doable, because we are committed! Committed to being better today than we were yesterday! Love is about growing and being willing to be vulnerable, but in the vulnerability being accepted for EXACTLY who I am and was created to be. For we weren’t created to be exactly alike!
Do we argue? Yes! Do we disagree? Yes….but we are learning to love each other no matter what. Growing together doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice yourself and give up your identity because that’s what HE or SHE wants! Growing together means you are wise enough to know that even in the unsaid you can sense that something is wrong with the other. That even with a slight look you know, he or she needs to talk. Growing together means to become so connected that when they hurt, YOU HURT! Accept the differences and highlight the good! Don’t become so focused on wanting someone to be like you that you forget the reasons that you were drawn to them in the first place! Individualism is a MUST! It’s ok to be interdependent and remain independent.
He was and is my friend FIRST! So that gives me comfort in knowing that I have a friend in him before anything else, which makes loving him easy! Even on the hard days! And there are some, don’t act like y’all don’t have any! Knowing that I have a place of comfort in him is all the peace I need! Forgive for past mistakes and failures and use them as stepping stones to get to the next level! Level up! Without mistakes and the admittance of them, there is no growth! Without growth, you remain in a constant state of stagnation! Remember that he or she is not the same person you first met, we change and change is a must, if change ceases then death is upon us. Change with him or her as they change with you!
Continue to communicate, trust, and love, in the midst of it all!
Forget the naysayers who pretend their stuff is perfect, we all know nothing or no one is perfect except for Christ himself! Therefore unless it’s Christ telling me to give up on him, I will not listen to folks who have gone through, made it work with their significant other, but want and will or have told me to give up on mine! FORGET YOU (Ceelo Greene voice)!
A TRUE relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other! If you choose to be in a relationship, then you have to learn to live in PARTNERSHIP with someone who sees the world totally different than you do, and that’s ok! We also need to learn and should be taught as young boys and girls how to be WHOLE as individuals within a relationship rather than that relationship being our whole! (think about it and when you get it think about it some mo’)
A VERY wise woman once told me:
1 Peter 4:8 says………Above all, love each other deeply, because Love covers a multitude of sins…..Love isn’t always easy. Some days loving is more difficult than other days. That’s because as humans we are imperfect, but Love is Perfect. It causes you to forgive and move past circumstances….Look to Love today and not focusing solely on the issues………..💞
Be wise enough to know that no one posts the bad or ugly of a relationship on social media, and why should they? They ONLY post the good and make it seem like all is perfect, so be mindful not to fall victim to comparison! Be clear in your intentions and what you want in and out of your relationship! Clear intentions lead to more potential than unmet and unrealistic expectations! Relationships aren’t something that you have to figure out for other people, figure yours out for you! Focus on yours, as am I mine! 😉
Looking to love today and not for perfection or at imperfections!